Are we aware of the roles we play in life? That even when one tells us who we should be or what we should do, it doesn’t always mean that is who we are. So often, we adopt the shadows of others by participating in the roles they’ve conditioned us to play. 

Feelings of victimhood, abandonment and others are often validated by assigning others into the roles that make us feel safe, heard or justified. 

If we pause and witness the experiences and narratives in relationships then we can explore the roles or projected stories we spill out. Explore deeper into the layers of why and where it comes from. Mindfulness allows us to peel and shed stories or thoughts that keep us stuck in painful relationship patterns. (And the patterns within ourselves.)

Mindfulness invites us to see what happens when we can be enchanted by the mystery of life rather than avoiding the mystery by feeling in control or trying to control others. 

So what then should we practice to alleviate these roles and stories? Compassion. 

Plant an attitude of compassion for others AND yourself to see that these ‘assignments or judgements or expectations’ were never about you (or never about that other person). And through compassion we can learn to love with patience committed to healing the thought patterns that keep us afraid. 

Self Compassion and compassion for others is love in action.